In the end
by NaruSasu.apple
Summary: Coming from a small village in the countryside, Naruto and Sasuke had known each other since they were little. They are drawn to each other, but drift apart over the years. They change through the years, but in the end, they realise nothing's changed at all. NaruSasu. Minor NaruSora, NejiSasu


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Trust me, if I did you would've noticed :]

Summary: Coming from a small village in the countryside, Naruto and Sasuke had known each other since they were little. Seeing themselves change over the years, both having their own dreams and fears, they were drawn together, but slowly drifted apart. With their rocky relationship, that made threads deep into their lives, seeing is knowing they hadn't changed at all. NaruSasu. Minor NaruSora, NejiSasu

Words: 10,905

It starts slow, with the time they were little, but picks up the pace quickly. This is not a story of 6-year olds, but moves thoroughout their lives as they grow up...

I posted this up once, but it didn't get a good response. It's a new year and I decided to reupload some of my forgotten work. hope somebody likes it.

Reviewing is a drag, but just one word would mean the world to me.

Good, Bad, Horrible? I thought of writing a sequel, but I'm just not sure. My confidence is been dragged really low, if anyone asks for it though I would be glad to.

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In the end

When they were small it didn't matter. Life was simple. Waking up was never pleasant, going to bed early neither. School was annoying and the teacher was a pervert reading porn in the middle of lessons. They didn't have a TV, but it was okay, there were many games. And if they ran out, they could've always invented new ones. Playing on the fields was fun, the land was long and wide- there were so many new places to discover. Climbing up the Rocky Mountain was an adventure. One that parents forbid, so naturally they had to go. It was a tough climb, but they did it. Even before lunch! The best part was nobody was ever going to know, until Naruto fell eight feet down. At the very base too, they'd almost made it. In the end, though, the only thing they made was their parents mad. And a two thousand dollar hospital bill for seven broken bones.

The kids were all grounded, but it never lasted. Everybody knew everybody and once someone caved in to the sad puppy eyes of their children, every other mother followed suit. So, for the next four months, when Naruto was forced to lie down all day while the other kids played outside, their relationship became something more. Sure, their friends stuck by Narutos side for a week or so, but it quickly started to bore them. Inside they couldn't do anything, inside was nothing compared to the outside. Not to mention they could get caught any second. Living on a farm had it's advantages and disadvantages. The parents were never far away, since they worked at home, and to this day Naruto wasn't sure under which category that fitted.

His friends all left. Sasuke stayed. They weren't even friends. Sasuke hung out with the gang, but was never really welcomed. He was quiet, he didn't break the rules. He didn't fit in. But their parents were close and so he was a part of the gang. The more the parents tried to get the others to like Sasuke, the less they did. They made fun of him.

Naruto once pushed him a pile of mud. Then they stole his dumb, dorky glasses and ran off. Of course at the time they hadn't known how bad Sasukes sight really was. It was all a joke. Searching for the biggest, most bad-ass rock and breaking the glasses was fun. Throwing them down the well was fun too. When Sasuke still didn't show up a bed time it wasn't fun anymore. All the parents were worried, the woods could be dangerous at night. Narutos, Sasukes and Shinos dad and another man from the Uchiha family all went to look for him. The kids were all rounded up in the living room and Kushina read them some of their favourite stories to keep them from running off. After some time they all got engrossed into it, but when Naruto glanced around all of them were just as scared as he was. He didn't know if he was scared for himself or for Sasuke, but he knew he felt guilty for what they did. He wanted to tell them what happened, but he was too afraid. 'What if he's still there?' his brain screamed. 'What if something happened? What if he's dead?'

At three in the morning the men returned and the kids were sent ot bed. They didn't find Sasuke. Nobody told. Naruto was sure he saw Sasukes mom cry. He scurried up the stairs to his room. He cried that night.

Sasuke was found a few hundred meters away from where they left him. Without glasses he barely saw three feet in front of him. His dad said it was miracle he didn't hurt himself. The terrain was very rocky. He remembered being happy and jumping around. At the same time he was more scared than before. Sasuke would tell everyone. He was afraid to look his parents in the eye, afraid to see contempt and disappointment. But Sasuke never told. Later he wished he had. Because maybe then he wouldn't have to feel this guilty.

After some time the incident passed. Sasuke still avoided them as much as possible. Which actually wasn't all that much, because the parents blamed Sasuke 'accident' on him for being a loner and gong out on his own. They thought he would be safer with his friends and would become more sociable. Then maybe he wouldn't want to search for fossils in the rocks anymore and wouldn't lose his glasses again. Naruto wondered what else Sasuke told them about that night, but it sure worked. He made a note to remember Sasuke was a good liar.

For some time everything went well and the group slowly began to accept Sasuke. And soon after that there came their adventure on the Rocky Mt. For the first time Naruto was left alone. And with Sasuke. He was the last person Naruto wanted to see. Ironically, in the time they spent together Sasuke tried to befriend him the most. Naruto would have none of it. It wasn't really Sasukes fault. Well, actually it was, because Naruto cried for it. He had cried like a girl in distress. His father never cried. He was powerful, brave, strong, a man. He was his role model. He swore no one would know about it and that it would never happen again. Sasuke reminded him too much of it. He lashed out on him several times for no good reason and purposely insulted him, but Sasuke was stubborn. As long as Naruto wasn't going anywhere, neither was Sasuke.

Sasukes company was better than none. They were on shaky grounds at first, but as time passed Sasuke was in fact not so bad after all. He liked to read a lot, but Naruto already knew that. After reading all the children's books at his home, he came to borrow some at Narutos and even Kibas. Naruto found it stupid and annoying. There were already too many books to read for school, why would anyone want to torture themselves more? Sasukes bastardish attitude was annoying as hell too, and not to mention his new glasses that seemed to be even uglier than before. He always had to be right and it annoyed Naruto to no end.

Sasuke had a small, weak frame, and yet thought he could command him around! But somehow, Naruto liked him a whole lot. He could be fun at times. It was hard for Sasuke to just let go and relax and have fun, because both his parents were very strict. Sasuke tried his hardest to obey them, to prove he was just as good as Itachi, Sasukes genius brother. I thought Sasuke was a genius, so I couldn't figure out what Itachi must have been like. Probably weirder than Sasuke.

When Sasuke let go of his restraints he was pretty cool. He came up with some pranks Naruto never thought of before and somehow made the time pass quicker. They'd gotten very close.

When Naruto cured, everything went back to normal. Naruto spent all of his free time with his friends, who still weren't particularly fond of the raven. He didn't mean it, but he distanced himself from Sasuke again. Sasuke didn't seek his attention this time. It took Naruto four months to realize the tightness he was felt suffocating him these months was because of Sasuke. He ignored it. He wouldn't admit he missed the bastard. Not ever.

It took him a year to gather up the courage and it was him who finally approached Sasuke during lunch break. Sasuke didn't give him a second glance. He didn't try again.

They were 17 when things started moving again. He didn't know how it happened. All he knew was that they were kissing and he loved every second of it. They were in the changing room showers. Everyone'd already left, the school was empty. Nobody would see, but Naruto wasn't sure if he would stop even if someone came back. Everything was just too perfect. They were moulded together, the water cascading over them. Sasuke kissed him with fervour, hands going everywhere. Instead of sticking up his hair clung to his neck. His creamy skin glistered under the water. He looked beautiful. What he found weird and girly before, exited him now. He ran his hands over Sasukes scorching skin, tracing his deliciously curvy hips. Sasuke arched into his touch, entangling his hand in his golden locks and deepening the kiss.

He switched their position, pinning him and attacking his lips viciously. Sasuke wrapped his legs around his waist and Naruto held him up against the damp wall. He barely had time to prepare him. It didn't matter. When he slammed into Sasuke his body was on fire. Nothing'd felt this right for years, he never wanted to let go.

He was surprised how smoothly things went, the way he knew exactly what to do. It felt like somebody was guiding him from above. When they dressed he contemplated everything. Losing his virginity in the showers after gym class wasn't the most romantic way it could have happened, but he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

I told Sasuke he was my first. When he told me I wasn't his, I shouldn't have been mad. We were both young, thing happened. He shouldn't have pushed, but he had to know. Sasuke was reluctant in telling him and left out as many details as possible. Suigetsu Hozuki. He played football with him his whole life. He hadn't even known he was gay. As the captain of the football team, he made sure that, on the field, Suigetsus life was hell.

Next Saturday he took Sasuke out on their first real date. They ordered a pizza and drove on a nearby hill. His car had a retractable roof. They watched the stars and made out in the back seats. They only made it to second base. He liked that, he wanted Sasuke to know it wasn't all about scoring.

They started meeting up every day after school. They would both leave alone and meet up in the woods. The woods became their hideout from the rest of the world. It was the only place they could be together. They couldn't go out in public. Everybody knew everybody and rumours spread like fire. Meeting at each other's places wasn't safe either. Either their neighbours or their parents were bound to find out. I always said »we« and talked about »us«, but I know now it never truly was. It was me. Sasuke never cared what others thought, he didn't care now. He was true to who he was and didn't hide it, damn all the rest. He was brave. It was something I came to cherish and envy the most in him.

Sasuke did it for me and I just went along with it. It was convenient. I never talked about it, not when I got everything I wanted−a great family, awesome social life and friends, and a great boyfriend on the side.

He didn't know when that wasn't enough anymore.

For a long time things were sweet. He loved meeting up with Sasuke. It became the highlight of his day. His parents wondered why he suddenly became so secretive, his friends were annoyed as he was always leaving early. He didn't care. Not at the moment.

They talked for hours. About everything and nothing. About Sasukes brother who just finished university. How he was afraid his parents used up all of their savings on Itachis studies, leaving nothing left for his. How his father hadn't talked to him in seven months since he came out to them. It felt good knowing he trusted me this much.

Opening up was harder for me. We had sex, we kissed, I made the effort to meet up with him daily. I thought that was open enough. I was always known as the cheerful one, the one without problems. I did have problems, I just never shared them with anyone. I did it not to worry my parents. That was at first, now, I did it to please everyone. The happy one wasn't allowed a sad day. Nobody bothered too much about it, it was just a nuisance, hence I was always fine the next day. Sasuke was different. He noticed when something was off. Nothings ever bothered me as much before.

It took me a long time before I was finally comfortable enough to honestly talk to him about everything. When the point came, I wasn't prepared for it. I attacked Sasukes lips, pushing him beneath me. The clothes went flying off. It was the easiest solution. But the conversation always rolled back to it sooner or later, and I had to force myself to get ready. When I told him about all the frivolous things that could never compete with the shit that was going down in his family, he actually listened. He listened when I ranted on and on about our tractor that died in the fall, about not being able to afford ramen anymore because of the huge debt my family had gotten into since the start of the crisis. What I loved most is that he didn't judge. He always knew how to calm me down. We made love on the grass floor that night, staying until sunrise. I was grounded for a month.

When I looked back so much's changed since the time we were kids, but he hasn't changed at all. He still carried his books everywhere. It was funny watching his normally stoic self jabbering excitedly about the latest story he's fallen in love with. He read about life in the big city, wishing closer the day he could finally leave the dead end Konoha was. He bought all National Geographic issues and dreamed of seeing the world. He was so passionate about travelling. I loved Konoha, and deep down I think so did he, but it was a place where you couldn't dream big. Life was pretty much set up for you from the beginning, Konoha only offered as much as a small agricultural town could. It didn't need lawyers, doctors; people living here were farmers. Life was peaceful, calm – uneventful. Sasuke dreamed of adventure it just couldn't offer him.

That spring, in our senior year, the school hosted a school fair, car wash and all that jazz to help the seniors raise money for their spring vacation. It was tradition that all seniors left Konoha for two weeks to see the outside world. We planned these two weeks since middle school. My gang and I decided to go to California for a wild party week without rules, or restrictions. Beaches, girls, booze and cheap motels. It sounded amazing two years ago when we planned it all out. It would've sounded amazing even then, but at the time I wasn't in the mood to party. Things between Sasuke and me were tense. We haven't been fighting, but we were bordering closely to it. The winters in Konoha were harsh, the snow could reach four feet in height and more. The lands were coloured in white. It's a truly beautiful sight to see, but not one you wish to feel. The cold and the strong winds howling through the woods made it a cold, unwelcoming place. Couples retreated to warm cafés. I still hadn't allowed us to go public. Meeting in the woods got harder as the winter grew to its peak. We stayed inside the car, turning the heater up full blast. Covered in blankets, we curled up together in the back seats, pressing as close as possible to keep each other warm. Since the Christmas season my parents demanded we spend more time together, my friends pushed more and more. I gave in little by little in their requests. I stayed longer after school, spending more weekends with the gang instead of Sasuke. I kept him waiting in the woods, almost always showing up late. I started leaving early to help cook dinner and spend some quality time with my family.

Once, the coach organised a friendly match. We won and we were all in a great mood. I was talked into going to a bar to celebrate. I thought that a drink wouldn't hurt anyone and we did all deserve it. We had a blast, I can't remember laughing so hard before. I got drunk and lost track of time. When I remembered, I tried to get there as fast as I could. The snow was falling heavily, edging close to a blizzard. The windshield wipers could barely keep up with the speed it was falling. My vision was blurry. It was probably a miracle I didn't crash. I left him all alone in the woods during a blizzard, if something were to happen to him it would have been my fault. I never felt worse about myself. When I found him his lips were blue. He was curled up at the base of a tree, uselessly trying to get warm. His body had gone rigid, he told me he couldn't feel his fingers. I carried him inside the car, taking of our wet clothes off and pulling him close, sharing body heat to warm him up. We couldn't leave till morning when the blizzard finally calmed. The heater broke and the car lights died. The night seemed to stretch on forever.

Sasuke caught pneumonia. He was sick for a month. I skipped school to be with him, apologized a thousand times. He'd forgiven me, but I couldn't forgive myself. I always left before his parents came home. He'd hinted sometimes that he wanted me to stay and meet them. He'd also started to push me to publicly reveal our relationship. He asked for something small, like meeting him for pizza in the local restaurant, but with it he was asking for so much more. It meant coming out to my friends and family. It shouldn't have been so difficult, but it was. I wished so much to possess the courage he did, it would've made everything easier. I couldn't do it and things between us got rough. When spring began we started meeting in the woods again, but I felt him pulling away from me. I didn't know what to do. The only thing I could think of that would fix this was off limits for me.

When I met up with him that day, I asked where he planned to go for spring break. He said he was going to San Francisco to see the System of a Down concert. Probably in the spurt of the moment, he asked if I wanted to come with. I said yes. The whole school knew we were going to California, Sakura and Ino had been shouting it around school for a month now, so the answer surprised him even more than it did me. I couldn't believe I've actually said yes. Couldn't believe I wouldn't be going on the holiday we've planned for three years now. The gang was going to kill me. And for what? When he asked me why, neither I knew. I said they were my favourite band. I hadn't even known they existed till then.

It turned out to be the best two weeks of my life. For the first time Sasuke and I could be a real couple. It felt amazing holding hands walking down crowded streets and kissing in public. It was amazing how soft a mattress, even a cheap motels one, could fell after hooking up in my car for so long. It was the first time either of us went to a gay bar. It was so good knowing the man so many there wanted was mine. The concert was great, much better than I expected. I should have given Sasuke more credit for his choice of music. After the concert we took the bus to the Grand Canyon. We weren't of legal age yet, so taking the car wasn't an option. Back home it didn't matter, nobody cared about those things anyway.

It was all pretty much spontaneous. We never thought too far ahead and just tried to enjoy the time we had. Afterwards we took the train to Wyoming to see Yellowstone on a last minute decision. I remember taking the lift to a nearby hill overlooking a mayor part of the park. The chair-lifts carried two people at a time, but somehow we ended up separated. I sat next to an elderly lady that fell asleep on my shoulders and drooled all over. Sasuke was seated next to an overly handsome man and they kept talking the entire twenty minute ride up. I didn't know I could ever be that jealous. The man wanted to join us after the ride, but quickly changed his mind upon sensing the dark aura I emitted. They exchanged numbers. I glared daggers even after he'd already left, until Sasuke assured me he was with me and wasn't planning on leaving. I trusted him, but I ripped his number and deleted all of the man's phone calls anyway. We spent the last few days travelling the West Coast. We spent those days camped out on the beach, drinking mojitos and swimming out as far as we could. Even Sasuke got a slight tan. We used up two sunbathing lotions. Sasuke used up most of it, claiming he would've turned cherry-red otherwise. On the last day I found a beautiful secluded beach, we spent the night making love on the sand. It was even the full moon.

That week I told Sasuke I loved him. It was just after we've slept together. I hadn't even realized for a few moments. When I did, it scared me to death, because it so suddenly became clear that I truly meant it. It was scary to think I cared for someone so much. The thought of losing him, of rejection overwhelmed my senses. He said he loved me back. We didn't leave the hotel room for two days.

Returning back home was hard. It was weird seeing nothings really changed when I felt so different myself. I told my parents everything. That is everything, except about Sasuke. There was so much to tell, but I had to censor most of it, because everything seemed to be giving us away. If my parents thought it was sad spending my break travelling the US alone they didn't say anything, but even talking about it in first person was kind of depressing. Sasuke and I took pictures, but I never had them developed. Nobody could see them anyway. When the gang bragged about their sexy one night stands and wild parties, I was left restless. I had so much more to talk about, but I couldn't and I knew it was all my fault. I made up a couple of stories about my own 'adventures'. They circled around soon and I saw Sasuke look more defeated with each time someone mentioned it around him.

I couldn't let this ruin it, not when everything was perfect again. I almost told, I would do it for him. For some time I was sure I was going to, but I wanted my parents to be the first to find out. Before I had the chance to, my father beat me to it. Once mom left to go grocery shopping, he told me all about his spring break, the stupid things he did and all the girls he was with. Mom apparently didn't know about it, because it all happened before they met. He told me he heard some of my makeshift stories about what happened during spring break, from one of his friends that worked at school and that I didn't have to be ashamed of it, it was just a part of growing up, but that it was really mature of me not to worry mom with it. The stories would just trouble her, since she was still held onto the image of the childlike me. I was happy he went first. I couldn't tell him after that. I told him he totally figured me out. The last semester of high school passed, and then came graduation and Sasuke and I were still in the closet.

In the end I was the one who left. I got accepted in the University of Minnesota to study veterinary science. My parents somehow gathered the money and I left mid-August. Sasuke thought of college as his ticket out of Konoha. He planned on studying linguistics and language. He wanted to get a proper education and was prepared to work double or triple jobs in his free time, focusing those four years of his life solemnly on his future. He wanted to save all that money and buy himself an apartment in the Big Apple when he graduated. Itachi was the prodigy son in the family, finishing university at the young age of 19, and for years Sasuke dreamed of being like him. Everybody thought Itachi was going to do big things in his life and move away from the dead end Konoha was as soon as possible. After graduating Itachi got several job proposals, including one offering a job in the White House. He turned them all down, claiming he loved the quiet life in Konoha. Sasuke loved his brother to no end and was closest to him, but at that point stopped looking up at him as a role model.

Contrary to Sasukes beliefs his parents did save money for him. No matter if they supported his life choices or not, he was still family. They had Itachi to carry on the family name. Fugaku would never support his son's sexuality, but at least slowly grew to accept it. In May Sasuke was already searching for an appropriate dorm. We never talked about the future. My University didn't have a linguistics course, so I'd already given up on us studying together, but always somehow believed we would end up in the same city or at least the same country. We hadn't defined our relationship and I still wasn't sure were the boundaries were set, but I wanted to keep in touch. If possible, on a daily basis. The problems started in mid-June. Sasuke went to get a regular check-up at the doctors and was then sent to see a professional in the city. The nurse thought she saw something that wasn't quite right on the CAT scan, behind the optic nerve. We didn't pay it much attention; Sasuke's been virtually blind since I could remember. He's been wearing contact lenses for the last couple of years, but as far as I knew his sight still kept getting worse. It turned out he needed immediate surgery. Apparently his sight had been slowly decreasing from his birth and was now threatening to blind him. His parents practically emptied their bank accounts to pay the increasing pile of medical bills. Sasuke never got to enrol in college. We never really got to say goodbye. His mother almost never left his side and I had to pack away my life in Konoha. I snuck in his room at night. He couldn't leave. His eyes had to stay covered for a month or so after the surgery and even if Konoha was small, you couldn't possible remember every pebble on the sidewalk. He wouldn't admit it, but he wouldn't make it fifty feet without seriously injuring himself. He's always been a clutz.

Thankfully his parents' bedroom was on the ground floor. I didn't want to be one of those boys the parents caught in their children's room late at night. We whispered softly in each other's ears, lying cuddled together in his bed to early morning hours. Every time the bed creaked we both paled. The end of summer came too early. The one, who said break-up sex was good, had been wrong.

I didn't return home for two years. It was hard at first. I had no idea how the city worked. I had trouble figuring out the metro, constantly getting lost in the endless rows of streets and nearly got ran over a dozen times in the swirling mass of morning traffic. My wallet was stolen in the first week. I had been trusting, leaving my bag alone when I rushed to the toilet. I didn't care for those few dollars I'd lost, but I kept the only picture I had of Sasuke hidden in its inner pocket. I'd been lonely at first, not having anyone I knew even remotely close. It didn't take me long to get settled in, thought. I met my roommate on the first day of school and we hit it off instantly. We stayed friends even after graduating. By the end of the year I'd gathered myself a nice group of friends, on and off campus. People did always tell me I made connections easily. Meeting new people really helped. With a little help I caught on easily. My small town mind just needed to adjust to the changes. Once I'd gotten a grasp of it, living in the city was amazing. Those years past quickly.

By the end of the first semester we were all drowning in all the work that had to be done. Fall past quickly, I barely noticed. Back home fields were littered in fallen leaves, decorating the countryside in a wide range of colourful shades. There were no trees in the city, perhaps one or two withering away in cramped spaces between the asphalt floors. Soon winter came, and brought with it snow. It was black-grey here, only pretty till the snowflakes fell to the floor. There were no birds chirping in the morning, no buds penetrating the surface or littering the branches, no long rows of sunflowers to indicate spring. The only way to tell when winter turned to spring in the city was when the winter clothes slowly disappeared from the streets to leave room for the fashionable spring attire. In never really paid much attention to summers. I spent them cramped in a local veterinary centre, working my butt of as an intern.

The city itself was constantly filled with noise, always had people rushing around no matter what ungodly hour. It looked grey and depressing, not at all what the movies showed. But it was special. There were so many things to do, so much to see, so many options and people to meet. After living there I wouldn't go back.

I didn't miss Konoha. My busy schedule offered me no time to. My thoughts sometimes drifted back to the times. I heard from my parents frequently. I still emailed Sakura. She was the only one I kept in touch with. She stayed in Konoha and married Lee. She worked part-time as a bar tender, but decided to be a housewife once her first child was born. She was five months pregnant. I knew I would've once understood her choice. Living on a farm always had some kind of work thrown at you. She wouldn't really be a house wife, but more of a farmer's wife. Now, I still couldn't get how she could've thrown everything she could've been and opted for living only for her children and husband. I had no desire to return home, the only regret I had was not being there on Christmas. We always spent it together. It was a family holiday, seeing all my friends from the city returning home to their families left me feeling lonely all over. But plane tickets cost a fortune. One I did not have.

My parents hated me being away on Christmas. They paid for my school bills, my books, the clothes I wore, even the first few months of rent, until I managed to get a job. I couldn't dump this on them too. Even if I did, they probably couldn't afford it anyway. We didn't talk about money, unless it was necessary, but I guessed they must have been living on scraps to put me through college.

For my father's birthday that January, I finally had enough. I travelled cheap, it's not like it mattered anyway. I was going home for the first time in two years and I honestly didn't care how I got there. My parents threw me a party. I didn't honestly think Sasuke would come, my parents never knew of us and couldn't have thought to invite him. They stopped trying to befriend us a long time ago. The old gang kept me entertained all night, but I couldn't help but search the room from time to time anyway. I only stayed for two days and I tried to spend them to the fullest. Everything felt weird. The city was so different from home. I kept gazing out, expecting to find thousands of lights, marking the skyscraper-covered night sky. There were only stars. The air itself felt different. It felt fresh and clean, the smell of the woods overpowering my senses. The city smelt of coffee.

When I first moved to the city, the noise bothered me immensely, now I found I myself laying awake for hours, not able to sleep without it. Returning back was sad, but it was also a relief. The weekend, meeting everyone and catching up again had drained me severely.

From then on I made it a rule to return home each Christmas. But it was only in my fourth and final year in college that things changed. I had made myself a nice life. I would be graduating as soon as I finished my final exams in the spring, taking in account that I did pass them, and could finally start working as a real veterinarian. I've been in a stable relationship for two years now. I met Sora at a First of July celebration. We had our first kiss under the grand firework spectacle at midnight. He was a hopeless romantic and I tried to be as sentimental as I could be, taking him to fancy restaurants, buying roses and sweets. I didn't mind romance, but I wasn't overly excited over corny love notions and I guess he understood life wasn't a Hollywood chick flick as well. We both tried to make it work, meeting halfway on a two way street. Things between us, from then on, moved abnormally quickly and he practically lived with me. His parents were supportive and proposed we move into one of their spare rooms to save us the trouble of finding an apartment. They were nice people, very open about sex. Definitely not as conservative as the Uchihas, but we both thought it'd be better if we passed on the offer. I'd been saving for quite some white now, wanting to buy myself a nice apartment. After a year or so, I would also probably need a new car. Old Bertha was slowly losing it. With the noises she made, it left me wondering when pieces were going to start falling off. Somehow though, it was surprisingly hard. Bertha seemed to be the only thing that still connected him to his old life, refusing to be swept away with the rest of the clatter he brought to the city. He had some nice memories with Bertha, most with Sasuke and their time together. Their relationship was gone. Bertha was the only proof left that it had existed and, if he wanted to have a healthy relationship, it would have to go.

I hadn't planned to go back home, I'd just been there three months ago on Christmas. But that spring, Dad called. It was a normal Wednesday night. I was in one of those 24hour gyms and was in the middle of a work-out session. It's weird how I could tell something was wrong juts from the tone of his voice. Mom was sick. I needed to come home immediately. I called Sora and took the first flight to Konoha. When I got there the atmosphere was tense. My parents acted as if nothing was wrong. Mom ignored all of my questions and no matter how much I tried prying dad for info he wouldn't cave in. It took almost a week before Mom finally decided to drop the act. I knew it was bad. I finally started noticing all of the small details that I paid no attention before. How she couldn't bend properly, how she got tired from a mere walk up the stairs. How she fell asleep almost instantly after laying down or slouching on the couch. Perhaps I would have noticed all of that before, but just didn't want to see it. I had guessed by then it was cancer. I knew it must have been breast cancer, I did my research. I hadn't though, prepared myself that the cancer was in the fourth stage. There was no fifth stage. It had spread throughout the spine, ribs and pelvis bone. If they had found it earlier, it could have been reversible. But when my parents finally decided to see the doctor the summer before, it had been too late. They had done the experimental treatment. It didn't work. Things had gotten worse and Mom decided it was time to tell me.

I had been pissed. Mad at them, mad at the world. Mad at me. I could have done something. I could have helped. My thoughts stretched to all the times I screwed up. It hadn't been my fault, but at the time it was hard to think clearly. Dad blamed himself. He couldn't sleep. I heard him walking around aimlessly in the nights. He had lost weight. They resembled each other; both bone-skinny, tired and drained of all colour. Dad searched the internet for hours looking for a treatment that just wasn't there to find. Every day mom seemed to grow paler and dad got more desperate. He barely left the study anymore. When mom refused to look at herself in the mirror anymore, he cracked. He broke everything in the kitchen. He cleaned everything up afterwards and bought new furniture. After weeks of trying and achieving nothing my father gave up. I had never seen him so laced with self-loathing and contempt for himself. Sometimes I think I hated him too. If he had just noticed something was wrong earlier… Mom tried to keep us together and even now she was our pillar. But she was so tired and I knew she couldn't keep it up. I spent every moment with her and after a while dad joined us. It wasn't perfect and the dread always loomed just out of reach, but it was the best we could do. And for a while it was enough.

After some time I backed off a bit. I wanted to be by her side, but my parents needed some time alone. I owed them that. Once, though, when dad was asleep, my mother cornered me. She made us both hot coco and sat us down in our terrible old leather couches in the attic. She told me she loved me and that she wanted me to stop worrying about her so much. She said I had a great life ahead of me. I wanted her to stop. It all sounded like she was saying good-bye and I desperately wanted she had more time. She then gave me a rainbow coloured picture book. I thought of the irony.* I wanted to come out to her before she died, but I didn't want her last few months to be ruined because of it.

I thanked her and opened it, expecting to find a scrap book of our life. I nearly had a heart attack when it was filled with pictures of me and Sasuke. The ones we took in those two weeks. She must have stumbled across the camera, looking through my old stuff. She said she respected my choices and wanted me to know she loved me no matter what. She said I should be proud of who I am just as much as she is. I've never felt such a need to hug my mom. She then added he had a great ass. I had another mini-heart attack.

Dad had woken up by then and had started shouting for us, when he couldn't find either of us anywhere. He must have feared the worst as his shout grew more desperate. Mom laughed when a loud thunk was heard, indicating Dad must have tripped somewhere. She had always been a bit of a sadist. Her laugh was infectious, when dad started cursing the kitchen table for being in the way I laughed with her. Calming down she took my hand in hers and squeezed it soothingly. She then told me she hadn't said anything to my father and wanted me to do it when I was ready. I scoffed. If I couldn't do it now, at 22, was there even any hope for me left?

A week later, I found myself outside the towns' gas station where Sasuke worked. I told mom about Sora. She seemed genuinely happy for me, but I could not shake the feeling she sounded kind of disappointed as well. She probably built up a fantasy of Sasuke and I getting back together. She told me I should go talk to him, even if only as a friend.

My mother had apparently after finding the photos −after the initial shock had faded− gone on a quest to personally get to know Sasuke. He needed money, his job at the gas station didn't pay much. Mom used that to her advantage. She hired him to help around the place over the weekends and used the time to pry him about anything Sasuke was willing to tell her. He tried to commit suicide. It happened a few years after I had left. His father had found him unconscious in the woods. He had swallowed too many pills. They rushed him to the hospital two hours away. Physically, he was fine in a year. "Your fault!" a part of my brain screamed. The other, the more rational, said it couldn't possibly be. Mom said Sasuke just kept hitting dead end after another and after some time couldn't handle it bottled up anymore. It wasn't entirely my fault, but no matter what mom said, on some level a part of it was.

I also now knew Sasuke hated his job, but out of the two rather be a cashier than a farmer. Itachi took up the family business and moved back to the house. The parents were thrilled and soon after he got married to Konan, a girl he once knew as a child. They were now expecting their second child. A year or so ago, Sasuke moved out, feeling like the third wheel after their first child was born. He now lived in an apartment building near the market. I also now knew he had a cat. Mom did good. She was ruthless once she gave herself an assignment. And now she wanted us talking again. As nerve wrecking as it was, I really wanted to see Sasuke. I had no idea what I would say, but coming here was a start.

Sasuke didn't share my thoughts. He ignored me, remaining completely passive. I picked up a packet of chewing gums and strode to the counter. When he rolled the chewing gums over the censoring machine his hands shook. He wouldn't look me in the eye. It was hard to pretend that it didn't hurt like a bitch. I tried striking conversation. Waving someone else over to his spot, he was out of there before I could react. I jogged outside after him and just barely saw him striding in the woods behind the station, before he disappeared behind the branches. I had to ran after him.

When I finally caught up we were far out in the fields, the town no longer visible. I grabbed his hand and stopped dead on my tracks, dragging him to a halt with me. He turned around and I puffed out "wait.." breathlessly. He wouldn't look at me. We were in a grain field I couldn't recognize. Trying to place the scenery I gazed around when Sasuke looked at me. I smiled and he punched me square in the jaw. I tumbled to the ground dragging him down with me. He landed on top of me, our faces inches apart. It all felt too much like a déjà vu. His face had matured. His hair was a little shorter, but he hadn't changed at all. When he readied his hand for another blow I pulled him down, bringing our lips together. He struggled for a moment. He tried pulling away, but I held him down. I pushed my tongue past his lips, urging him to respond. His hand wavered in the air, before dropping to his side.

He tangled his hands in my locks. I moaned. He finally kissed me back and I pulled him closer. The kiss was rough and desperate. He ground our hips together. We both groaned at the friction. I felt my shaft hardening. I pulled Sasukes long strands, yanking him back. We both sucked in air greedily, before Sasuke lunged back down, kissing me with fervor. He tossed his jacket away and started undoing the buttons on mine. I wrapped my arms around his back, slowly pulling off his sweater.

He raised his hands to help me, but shivered violently when the crisp April weather touched his bare skin. He pulled closer to me. I pushed my hips up, pushing our erections together. I groan, unbuttoning my jeans and pulling my hard shaft out. It hits him in the stomach and he hums appreciately. His breathing was quickening and he had trouble unzipping his jeans. I put my hand over his to stop the shaking, helping pull his pants and boxers off. I kissed him softly and switched our positions. I was now laying over him. I spit in my palm, slicking over my shaft. I lowered myself, placing my cock at his entrance. I looked up at him and he nodded hurriedly. He breathed out deeply, preparing himself for the penetration.

I didn't move. He was shivering all over. Even dressed, I felt cold. Thunder sounded in the distance. The winds were picking up, preparing for a storm. I thought of his pneumonia and stopped completely. After a moment he looked up questioningly. I propped myself up, picking his pants and sweater off the ground. "Get up."

He doesn't move. I toss him his clothes. I try not to wince at the hurt expression on his features. His eyes are wide open, pupils dilated. He reminds me of a deer in the headlights. I get up and tuck my shaft back inside. I'm painfully hard. Once I zipper myself up I groan frustratedly. The jeans are maddeningly tight. Sasuke slowly dresses. He looks up several times, trying to say something, but stays quiet. "Come on," I offer him my hand. "You'll freeze to death. Let's take this some place warm."

Relief overcomes his features and he's suddenly so calm. He takes my hand. He's trying hard to contain a smile. It feels like dead weight's just lifted off my shoulders. He shifts closer to me, reaching down and palming my clothed erection. I moan, pushing into his palm. He pulls away and head back the way we came. We're still holding hands and I let him drag me back to town. We half walk-half jog all the way to his place. I'm sporting an oh-so-very-visible tent and I see people staring. For once I couldn't care less. We reach the building and head up the stairs. His apartment is on the top floor. We pass an elderly lady. She gasps, clutching her chest when she sees the state I'm in. people around here probably aren't used to this. Abstinence to the wedding was not uncommon. We probably mentally scarred her for life.

The closer we get, more doubts crawl their way up my spine. Then we're in front of his door and he fumbled with his keys, inserting the wrong one over and over again. When the doors finally open alarm bells go off in my head, waving giant signs spelling 'Sora' in bright neon lights. But Sasuke's there and he's smiling. I would do anything to see him smile like that. I let him pull me in. When he asks me to stay the night I do. A storm raged all night. Lightning and thunder never seem to cease. The rain drops against the windows are soothing. We pull together under the covers. It's so warm. Time passed so quickly. I never noticed how much I missed him. I slept like a baby.

In the morning I woke up first. It was still early and the sun was rising over the hilltops. The rain had stopped. Reality was dawning in on me. I got dressed and left him a note saying 'Ï'm sorry' on the bedside post. He looked peaceful, his breathing slow. A few bangs fell on his face, framing his beautiful features. I fished out the phone out of my pocket and snapped a photo. I was at the door, when he came running after me. He was only wearing his boxers. I duly noted the note in his hand. Yesterday I was frustrated when he wouldn't look at me. Now, I begged for him to lower his gaze. I couldn't decide whether he looked angrier or more devastated. I told him I had a boyfriend. He screamed at me. I screamed back. He closed the door in my face. I pretended I didn't hear him crying when I walked away.

When the spring came to an end I had to leave to take my final exams. I never saw Sasuke since the incident between us. Guilt was chewing me on the inside. Meeting Sora and pretending nothing happened was hard. When I got back to the city I made love to Sora every night. I then sold old Bertha.

The results got back and I did better than I expected. Sora passed his examinations as well. His parents threw a big party for us and invited everyone from their extended-family circle. They made barbeque and the whole thing was very sweet. I had almost put the incident behind me. I had a few laughs. The atmosphere was friendly. I met Soras grandmother, she was sweet, smelt of a home cooked meal and loved to bake. A typical grandmother. And like all regular grandmothers she wanted her grandson to marry. Of course, Sora and I were a couple. She put two and two together, and couldn't stop talking about rings and engagements and grandchildren for the rest of the evening. I knew Sora wanted to marry. He'd been practically glowing the whole party. I didn't deserve him. What was worse though, was that the mere thought of marrying Sora terrified me. I knew it shouldn't have. Sora was amazing, nice, smart, beautiful. I told myself I just wasn't ready. In truth, when I thought of weddings I thought of Sasuke.

Only a month later mom died. I had promised myself I would go to see her again before it happened, but I never got to. I had my suitcase ready several times, but never boarded the damn plane. I loved Sora. I didn't want to be a cheater. I was raised better than that. But with Sasuke near, I couldn't trust myself anymore. Sora and I travelled back home. I told dad he was my boyfriend. I wasn't going to lie. Dad was a mess. He barely talked to anyone, didn't eat for days. That week was the first time I saw my father cry. But that evening he gathered the strength and we talked. About mom, about us. He said he was ashamed to know his own son was afraid of coming out to him. For the funeral everything between us was finally fine. Just like mom would have wanted. The night before the funeral I dreamt of moms' fiery red hair and beautiful ravens with dark, piercing eyes.

Without Sora there probably wouldn't even be a funeral. He practically arranged the whole thing for us. Dad and I moved around like zombies, barely alive. I would be thankful for that my whole life. He helped me that week. The whole town showed up. Sasuke came. It was sunny and bright, and it felt so wrong. I wanted rain.

Sora stood by my and my father's side at the Churches entrance. I made the effort to hug everyone that came to say their condolences, just so that I could hold Sasuke without arousing suspicion. I held onto him longer than the rest. Sora didn't notice. I was disgusted with myself. When Sora and I returned home he told me he loved me. I said I loved him too and bought him a ring. By fall Sora and I were living together. I decided to go back to school to specialize in domestic animals. When I finished the additional courses two more years had passed. I still dreamt of Sasuke.

The wedding was scheduled that spring. We decided to wait until we both graduated. Right now, I don't think we could have delayed it further. I tried not to think about it, but things started moving again – flowers, garments, caterers, churches. I couldn't deny it was happening anymore. That night I broke it off. Sora screamed. It was just like two years ago, on Sasukes doorstep. I didn't fight back this time. When he asked if there was someone else I said no. In truth Sasuke and I weren't a thing.

I returned home. I bought the same pizza we had on our first date and turned up on his doorstep. It was still early, I came as soon as I got back. He answered only in his sweatpants, his hair still wet. I hugged him. It felt awkward. He was still sticky from the shower and he seemed reluctant to return my embrace. I let him go, stepping back. He didn't offer me in, clutching the door tightly. I tried smiling, holding the pizza up. "I'm single." I think he's going to flip out. In the end he lets out "Naruto…" quietly. He looks lost and it's something I never want to see on him again. There was always the chance he would find someone new, but I didn't want to think about it. A deep voice sounds from the apartment. "Babe? Is everything okay?" I wanted to believe it was a friendly neighbour, Itachi, fuck− whoever.

The man was gorgeous. Broad shoulders, long silk-like hair, taller than me. he puts a hand over Sasukes shoulders possessively, pulling him closer. I finally notice the salty smell of morning sex. "Hello." I nod in acknowledgement. I don't trust my voice at the moment. Sasuke introduces me as an old friend and the man invites me in. I excuse myself and leave them the pizza. Sasuke's gathered his resolve back, when he tells me good-bye his walls are up again.

I don't leave the house for three weeks. Dad is happy I'm back home. He's been alone ever since mom died. Those two years hadn't been good on him. He didn't ask too much. He knew my engagement was over and probably assumed I was the one dumped. Sora called. He demanded to know who the whore I replaced him for was. This time, when I told him there wasn't anyone else it was the truth. After those three weeks Dad has enough of my sulking and tells me to start living again. I try to keep myself busy. It's easier not to think. I work on the fields all day. It would be November soon and the Halloween spirit was in full go. The pumpkins had to be loaded up and then driven to a nearby town, from where they would be sold off elsewhere across the country. We were left with a few dozen. Dad drove to the market every day, selling them to bypassers. It didn't account for much, but it helped pay the bill. Mom and dad used to do it together every year. This time dad hoped I might join him. I talked myself out of it. I've been avoiding the town in fear of running into him. The market was just a block away from his apartment.

That Thursday though, dad caught a cold. I took his place. Most of the day passed quickly. At five p.m. an elderly lady stopped by my stand. She told me my parents should be ashamed. It takes me a moment to realize she's the same lady Sasuke and I traumatized on the way to his apartment. She says I should leave. That Uchiha-san wasn't fine after that day. That he needed a lot of time to mend and that he was finally okay again. "…and now you're back and Sasuke-san and Neji-san broke up. Let him be. He is better off without you in his life." I give her a pumpkin for free and leave to find Sasuke. Her words cut like knives. After all those years I allow myself to cry. I'm not ashamed of it anymore, just like my father hadn't been ashamed to mourn my mother's death. I can understand Sakura now, we do anything for the ones we love. I love Sasuke, I'm just sad it took me seven years to see it.

He's home. The apartment looks empty. There are missing shelves everywhere, where his stuff must have been. I meant to tell him he should take Neji back. Somehow though, I asked him to dinner at my place and somehow he said yes. That night Sasuke actually showed up. He looked around the house curiously and I realise he's never been here. I never allowed him. Dad scrambles in the kitchen, hopelessly trying to divide the portions so there would be enough for all of us. I forgot to tell him to cook for three.

Sitting down feels good. It's a relief having someone between us. Realising that none of us were going to break the silence, my father tries to spark a conversation himself. He starts with saying how glad he is Sasuke came, then adds he didn't know we were friends. I want to say something, but Sasuke beats me to it. "We weren't friends. He didn't like me." I try to deny it. He shuts me up with a glare. Dad doesn't know where to go from there. "Oh, so how did you two…"

"We used to fuck−"

"We dated,"

We say simultaneously. He meets my gaze. He continues, still looking at me "−in the back of his car." "That's not true." He scoffs. "It's not." I'm raising my voice. "I cared. You know that."

Sasuke looks like he is about to retort for a moment, then shakes his head, getting up. "It doesn't matter Naruto. Either way, I would have done it. I fell hard for you. I would have done anything if you asked me to." He shrugs on his jacket, then thanks my father for dinner. I'd forgotten he was in the room with us. He reminds me of a fish, gaping at us. He downs a generous amount of wine, then coughs out "My pleasure." Sasuke leaves. I don't let him through the front door. "I feel hard for you too." I'm blocking the door with my body. "Don't go. Please, I love you."

He ignores me, trying to push past me. He's gotten stronger. My muscles strain, but I don't back down. He takes two steps back, eying me incredulously. "This is stupid." He turns, heading down the hallway. I know the back door isn't locked. I try to grab his arm, but he doesn't allow it this time. He spins around, pushing me back. I have to sidesteps from the force. "You think that saying that is enough? After all this time?"

"No, but we can make it work. Just give me a chance."

"We have so many issues. And it's just… It's too late Naruto."

He's not trying to leave anymore. He looks strangely disoriented in the vast hallway, unsure if he's allowed to touch anything. He opts for staying still. I can vaguely hear dad around the corner. I make those two steps towards him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him lightly. "It's not." I lean down, brushing our foreheads together. "Please don't say that."

We linger for a moment, the only sound is our breathing and the tickling of an old clock. It strikes eleven. It's powerful gong shakes us both up. He raises his head suddenly, bumping our foreheads together. "Oww,"I drawl out unceremonially. He chuckles. I smile. "I'm going to have a massive bruise tomorrow."

Sasuke tsks. "You deserved it." He's smiling. "Come, let's get you an ice pack." The kitchen is empty. It's dark. We don't bother switching the lights on. The moon is shining through the windows and it's bright enough. "Where's the freezer?" I motion to it and sit down. He takes some ice and wraps it in a towel. Sitting down next to me, he holds it against my forehead. I lift my hand to hold it myself. Our fingers touch and electricity runs through my hand. Sasuke leans closer. His lips feel warm against mine. He pulls away instantly. We barely touched, but I feel breathless. "We could try," he lets out. I nod, grinning. I lift my hand to cup his cheek and suddenly he's all over me. Pulling into my lap, he wraps his arms around my neck. I hold him close, kissing him back eagerly.

"Naruto?" Dad's barely opened the door. He lets out a not so manly squeal. He's out in a second when he sees Sasuke withering on my lap. I don't know whether to laugh or go sooth my father. Deciding he's been through enough, we take my new car to the woods and make love all night. Spent, we lay together. For he first time in six years we talk. And I know we'll be fine.

* * *

*The symbol of homosexuality is a rainbow. It represents the different shades of people there are in the world, all equal important and beautiful in the rainbow.


End file.
